Santa Banta Hindi SMS


Amitabh – Mere paas rocket hai,
shurli hai,
chakri hai,
murga bumb hai,
anaar hai,
Tumhare paas kya hai?
Shashi kapoor – mere paas
MAA…chis hai

A sweet girl goes to Banta’s shop and said: Mujhe underwear dikhao.
Banta sharmate hue: Aaj pehan kar nahin aaya.

Santa: Woh ladki kitni sundar hai!
Banta: Mujhe uska naam pata hai.
Santa: Kya naam hai uska?
Banta: Woh bank mein kaam karti hai, uske counter ke upar uska naam likha tha “CHAALU KHAATA”

Translation from hindi to english, “Khushi ke mare uski chaati phool gayi”.
Santa: Due to happiness, his chest became breast.

Santa ki shaadi ek nurse se ho gayi.
Banta: Aur santa, kaisi nibh rahi hai?
Santa: Pooch mat yaar, jab tak sister na kaho, bolti hi nahi.

In a train compartment husband: Darling, mujhe to tumhari aatma se pyar hai, tumhare jism ki mujhe koi chah nahin. Main tumhari rooh ko chahta hoon, tumhara shareer to main kutton ko daal doon.
Banta sitting on upper berth says: BOW BOW

Banta: Yeh chaaku kyon ubaal rahe ho?
Santa: Suicide karne ke liye
Banta: To phir ubalne kui kya zaroorat hai?
Santa: Kahin infection na ho jaaye

Girl: Will u marry me?
Santa: No, humare yahan shaadi sirf relatives mein hi hoti hai. Mummy ne Papa se, Didi ne Jijaji se aur Bhaiya ne Bhabhi se

Ek baar Santa Gangubai ke ghar jaata hai aur darwaza knock karta hai.
Gangubai: Kaun ?
Santa: Main !
Gangubai: Main kaun?
Santa: Tu Gangubai

Santa joined NASA. After one month the Americans had to change the name from NASA to SATYANASA

Nurse came out with the newborn kid, Santa rushed 2 her & after seeing the kid he shouted, BETA hua BETA. She slapped him: Leave my finger, u fool, It’s a gal

Banta ped pe chada to upar baithey bandar ne poocha: Upar kyon aaya?
Banta: Apple khane.
Bandar: Yeh to aam ka ped hai.
Banta: Pata hai, apple saath laya hoon.

Santa dials a number. A girl receives the call.
Santa: Who r u?
Girl: Seeta here.
Santa: Maine to Chandigarh phone kiya tha, yeh to Ayodhya mil gaya.

Santa ke bagiche mein bahut sare ped – paudhe thay, Santa naukar ko bola ped-paudhon ko pani dal.
Naukar: Sahab baarish ho rahi hai.
Santa: Abe to Chatri leke dal.

Banta: Truck dekhkar tum kaampte kyon ho?
Santa: Ek truck driver meri biwi lekar bhaag gaya tha, har baar lagta hai jaise usko vapas karne aaya hai.

Santa: Itne kam marks? Do thappad marne chahiye.
Pappu: Haan papa, chalo maine us saale master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha hai.

Pappu was writing his father’s name on a 1000 Watt bulb.
Santa asked him: What are you doing?
Pappu: Aapka naam roshan kar raha hoon.

Santa to Pappu: Where’s Sukhna Lake?
Pappu: Pata nahi.
Santa: Kabhi ghar se bhi nikla karo.
Pappu: Who’s Banta?
Santa: Pata nai.
Pappu: Kabhi ghar me bhi raha karo.

Santa: Do you know English?
Banta: Yes
Santa: Ok! Then tell what is the opposite of NAAG PANCHAMI?
Banta: So simple Yaar… NAAG DO NOT PUNCH ME.
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta Hindi SMS, 151 Characters
Santa apni GF ko I love u kehta aur gir jata.
Girl: Yeh kya kar rahe ho?
Santa : I am falling in love.
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta Hindi SMS, 109 Characters
Lady doctor: tum roz subah clinic ke bahar khade ho kar aurto ko kyon ghurte ho?
Santa: ji aap hi ne bahar likha hai “aurton ko dekhne ka samay subah 10 se 12”.

Masterji: kal school kyu nahi aaya.
Santa: Gir gaya tha or lag gayi.
Masterji: kahan gire, kahan lagi?
Santa: Takiye pe gira tha aur AANKH lag gayi..

Lady doctor: tum roz subah clinic ke bahar khade ho kar aurto ko kyon ghurte ho?

Santa: ji aap hi ne bahar likha hai “aurton ko dekhne ka samay subah 10 se 12”.

Masterji: kal school kyu nahi aaya.
Santa: Gir gaya tha or lag gayi.
Masterji: kahan gire, kahan lagi?
Santa: Takiye pe gira tha aur AANKH lag gayi..

Santa & banta sending sms 2 their gfs. Santa:mai tere mobile se apni gf ko sms bheju dekhte hain kya kahti hai? Banta: No, agar usne handwriting pehchan li to…?

Santa’s urine report got exchanged with a ladies pregnancy report.
Dr. told santa, “you are pregnant”.
Angry santa shouts at wife, “Maine pehle hi kaha tha, mujhe upar rehne de”.

Santa (on phone): Maa, khushkhabri hai!
Maa: Bolo beta.
Santa: Hum, 2 se 3 ho gaye.
Maa: Badhai ho, ladka hua ya ladki.
Santa: Na ladka, na ladki. Maine doosri shaadi karli.

Santa was inserting dog’s tail into pipe.
Banta: Oye, kutte ki dum kabhi seedhi nahi hoti.
Santa: Idiot, main to pipe bend kar raha hoon.

Santa: “Kitna padhey likhe(qualified) ho?”
Banta: “B.A.”
Santa: “Saala, 2 akshar padha, woh bhi ulta?”

Santa: Bhaisahab time kya hua?
Man: Sham ke 6 baje hain!
Santa: Sala, subah se pooch raha hoon, sab alag alag time bata rahe hain.

Jab dosti ki dastan waqt sunayega,
Tumko bhi koi shaks yaad ayega,
Tab bhool jayenge zindgi ke gam ko,
Jab apke sath guzara samay yaad ayega.

A lady asked Santa: LIPTON di chah hai?
Santa replied: Mainu ta nahi hai ji, tainu hai ta lipat ja…

Frog: Tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai & jumps into the well.
Santa: Isme suicide karne waali kya baat thi.?

Banta ek sadhu se bola: Baba, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upay batao.
Sadhu: Beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta?

Preeto: Raat ko aap peeke gutter mein gir gaye the.
Banta: Kya bataoon, sub galat sangati ka asar hai, hum 4 dost… 1 bottle, aur woh teeno kambhakt peeten nahin.

Nurse: Congrats Santa ji, aap papa ban gaye.
Santa: Meri wife ko nahi bolna mein use surprise dunga!

Santa & banta sending sms 2 their gfs. Santa:mai tere mobile se apni gf ko sms bheju dekhte hain kya kahti hai? Banta: No, agar usne handwriting pehchan li to…?

Santa’s urine report got exchanged with a ladies pregnancy report.
Dr. told santa, “you are pregnant”.
Angry santa shouts at wife, “Maine pehle hi kaha tha, mujhe upar rehne de”.

Santa (on phone): Maa, khushkhabri hai!
Maa: Bolo beta.
Santa: Hum, 2 se 3 ho gaye.
Maa: Badhai ho, ladka hua ya ladki.
Santa: Na ladka, na ladki. Maine doosri shaadi karli.

Santa was inserting dog’s tail into pipe.
Banta: Oye, kutte ki dum kabhi seedhi nahi hoti.
Santa: Idiot, main to pipe bend kar raha hoon.

Santa: “Kitna padhey likhe(qualified) ho?”
Banta: “B.A.”
Santa: “Saala, 2 akshar padha, woh bhi ulta?”

Santa: Bhaisahab time kya hua?
Man: Sham ke 6 baje hain!
Santa: Sala, subah se pooch raha hoon, sab alag alag time bata rahe hain.

Jab dosti ki dastan waqt sunayega,
Tumko bhi koi shaks yaad ayega,
Tab bhool jayenge zindgi ke gam ko,
Jab apke sath guzara samay yaad ayega.

A lady asked Santa: LIPTON di chah hai?
Santa replied: Mainu ta nahi hai ji, tainu hai ta lipat ja…

Frog: Tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai & jumps into the well.
Santa: Isme suicide karne waali kya baat thi.?

Banta ek sadhu se bola: Baba, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upay batao.
Sadhu: Beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta?

Preeto: Raat ko aap peeke gutter mein gir gaye the.
Banta: Kya bataoon, sub galat sangati ka asar hai, hum 4 dost… 1 bottle, aur woh teeno kambhakt peeten nahin.

Nurse: Congrats Santa ji, aap papa ban gaye.
Santa: Meri wife ko nahi bolna mein use surprise dunga!

What’s Ford?
Santa: Gaadi.
What’s Oxford?
Santa: So simple, Bail Gaadi.

Q: A Man asked Santa, “Akal badhi ya bhains? ”
A: Santa bola, “Pehle date of birth to batao.”

Q: A Man asked Santa, “Akal badhi ya bhains? ”
A: Santa bola, “Pehle date of birth to batao.”

7 thoughts on “Santa Banta Hindi SMS

Add yours

  1. unlock iphone 4
    unlock iphone 4
    iphone 4 unlock

    http://cricketfains.com/cricketfains/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=366593 http://forums.proprizes.com/index.php?action=profile;u=6654
    Hey guys! Merry Xmas & Happy New Year!!!! I need help… my laptop has several… keyboards sometimes doesnt report when typing…as if it didnt keep up with my typing… and i dont type that fast… And when i open facebook it turn slows….and my laptop s a bit slow…i dot knnow why..I only installed itunes, skype, msn messenger, and mcaffee anvirus….thats all… nothing else… I’ve scannedit and no virus,spyware or anything that sort…. please… need help 😦 please……..
    how to unlock iphone 4 unlock iphone 4

    iphone 4 unlock unlock iphone 4 iphone 4 unlock unlock iphone 4

  2. The webpage is the perfect lay to showcase original foodstuffs, innovative thoughts, ready to lend a hand army, and so forth. Today, present are probably billions of webpage on the Internet from approximately the world. The two nearly all effectual customs to get citizens to access and seem on one’s webpage are through ads and explore engines. Just like insertion ads on Television, newspapers, billboards, etc., citizens can use up cash to place ads of their webpage on well-liked WebPages visited habitually by the others. The ads will be alive in hyperlink which when it is clicked, will robotically shortest the web browser to the ads’ website and display the webpage.
    Using the search engine to shortest public to your webpage is free other than requires a little try resting on your part. There are three well-liked hunt engines (Bing, Google, and Yahoo) that the general civic uses to seem meant for information. Search engine employs enormous CPU capital to investigate billions of WebPages on the Internet to get the information that people query. Basically, the search is conducted in the following sequences:
    1) A uncomplicated software routine called spiderbot is sent absent to the Internet to crawl the webpage sites stored in the investigate engine’s Doman Name Database (DNdb). To expedite the crawling, quite a lot of spiderbots may live second-hand by the side of the equal time.
    2) The spiderbot subsequently extracts the keywords in the webpage’s HTML source regulations. It updates the DNdb with the keywords connected with the webpage.
    3) The spiderbot afterward goes to the next webpage site in the DNdb. The process can get more than a few days to complete each and every one the webpage sites in the DNdb.
    4) Steps 1) to 3) are frequent on top of a regular root to make certain that all the WebPages in the DNdb contain their latest keywords.
    So, in arrange to have your webpage to live searched, you require to register it with the explore engine to subsist built-in in its DNdb. Click on the hyperlink underneath to discover elsewhere how.
    http://si.org.pl
    As you type your query in the investigate engine’s webpage, it extracts the keywords in the query and starts a explore in its DMdb. If added than one game is originate, each and every one connected webpage information will live displayed in the orders according to the webpage’s satisfied and relevance.

Share ur Jokes...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: